There is a saying that we are often willing to help people catch up to us, but we wont help them pass us.

hmm…. seems pretty accurate.

Why do we want people to do good, but not better than us?

Why do we feel jealous of other peoples success or happiness?

It all comes down to one thing called your ego.

What is an ego?

Well, we all have something called an ego and a subconscious.

The ego is basically a made up entity of ourselves that we construct.  It is the “I” in your identity.  It is who we tell ourselves we are.  The ego is what makes us think we are separate and different than others.  The ego is like the little child who thinks they know it all.  They think they are smarter, better and more special than others, and when things don’t go the way they want them to they throw a tantrum.

The subconscious is like the older, wiser brother who is 10x smarter than the ego, but allows the ego to think its the one running the show.  The subconscious is where all of our automatic processes happen without our knowledge.  It is the power center of our entire being.  It is where our higher self is, the part of you that realizes we are all connected and all a part of the whole.

Most of all jealousy is an ego driven mindset.  It is the mindset of scarcity and greed.  It is the mindset that someone else’s success somehow makes yours less than.  Its the mindset of a toddler.

Unless we practice spotting and calling the ego out, most of the damage it does goes unnoticed.  We don’t realize we are allowing our ego to get us into all sorts of emotional dramas, a big one being jealousy.

Being jealous of other people does nothing for us but keep us small and afraid.

If you are jealous of other people- the bottom line is that you are living in an ego state and in competition with others.

It comes down to your ego vs. other people.  If someone got the better job, the ring or that new car, it means you cant have it.  They won, you lost.

The ego wants to convince us that if other people have success we wont.  It wants us to try to hoard more and more things to impress people.  Our ego wants us to become emotionally attached to people, places and things and if we lose those things to other people?  Watch out.

Jealousy is the opposite of gratitude.

When you are jealous about something you are taking a big spot light and shining it on your insecurities.

Being jealous is not a trait that many like to admit having.  Its an uncomfortable emotion.  Jealousy can make people do and say crazy things.

Being a jealous person, is just a down right turn off.

So how do you tackle the green monster?


Learn to spot and disarm your ego.   Say out loud “I am being jealous right now.”  Saying it and accepting it, takes away its power.  Everything is temporary in life. Accept that neither you nor them is perfect and that you will both have many successes and failures in life.


What is this jealousy highlighting in my own life?  Is there something this person stands for or does that I wish I could be more like?  Let your jealousy teach you where in your life you might be not living up to your full potential.  Often times the things we “hate” in others, are things we wish we had.  Explore what insecurities your jealousy is highlighting.


The opposite of scarcity is abundance.  There is more than enough to go around for everybody.  Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we lived from a place of wanting everyone to be happy, healthy, and fulfilled?  When we give ourselves permission to stand in our own light and power- we are less likely to feel jealous when others stand in theirs.


Every time you feel envy and you practice compassion towards yourself and others, give yourself a pat on the back.  Its a lot easier to let the ego run the show than it is to do the hard work.  Give yourself some compassion if you feel jealous, and allow others the same compassion.


There is always going to be someone out there that seemingly has it better than you.  The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence.  Once we realize that we are all in this together, that there is more than enough happiness and success for everyone, and that jealousy is really just an ego based mindset, we can begin to release it.

And by the way, the grass is always greener where you water it.






  1. Great post. One of my chapters in my newest title F*ck the pain, etc. has a chapter titled The grass isn’t greener on the otherside. I say this because to your point, we all can let ego get in the way; however that’s not our authentic highest self. We need to realize that we are enough and have our own gifts to exercise.

    Jealousy is just a form of not counting your own blessings. In order to do that, you have to be at your authentic highest self. People need to learn to water their grass…

    As an empowerment coach, my job is to empower people to excel in their gifts even if they surpass me in many ways. We are serve a universal purpose.


    Liked by 1 person

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